Learning that Long Term Planning is Ineffective Without Short Term Action the Hard Way

Or How I shot myself in the foot by trying to think in 90 day chunks.

Zombiemode

I was hoping to start with a great demonstrative story that shows my brain breaking down, but the truth is, everything is a background level of fuzz.

A little over a month ago, I worked out a system for chasing goals in 90 day chunks. I still think it is the way to go for some brains, including mine. Unfortunately it’s too easy to get overwhelmed with it from the start.

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Here’s what happened to me…

At the beginning of August I recognized that I work well in 90 day chunks, but if I don’t do a hard evaluation at the end of that time to see what worked and didn’t, then adjust, then I will end up in a funk.

This was a huge win for me and how I actually accomplish goals and tasks.

I set my goal for the next 90 days at that point… but then I got stuck. There were two problems in my head at that point:

• Too many things to do to get to that goal.

• No clear habit or routine that would keep me moving on that routine.

The problem is, every time there are “too many things” in my life, I go into a fugue state and inexplicably find myself sorting photos, reading about overlanding journeys, watching videos on woodworking or posting about video games on Reddit. In short, without any intention, I end up in the ADHD distracted state.

The most maddening part is that I can see it happening, but I struggle to re-orient my path. Without a clear next step in front of me, or even with a clear step… that’s too big, I don’t start.

It feels lazy. To anyone who doesn’t actually have the wonky ADHD wiring in their brain it looks lazy. You can’t try harder at this point.

The ONLY way a proper, ADHD diagnosed person leads a ‘productive’ life, at least in the knowledge worker space, is to have hacks and routines to accommodate for their innate tendencies.

I just didn’t have a good routine in place for the start of my 90-day goal. I had also lost my good routine of writing EVERY DAY to keep my mind in place.

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How do you break free?

Honestly, breaking the pattern of overwhelm and distraction is horribly difficult. The cycle looks kind of like this:

• You have a bit of self-loathing keeping you down, making you feel worthless.

• With low self-worth, you easily convince yourself that you CAN’T fix this.

• When you feel hopeless, the overwhelming things become more overwhelming.

• When you get overwhelmed, you seek things that produce dopamine to make you feel good.

• One ADHD executive dysfunction is difficulty context-shifting, so you get locked in dopamine chasing mode for longer than expected or desired.

• After lengthy dopamine binging, you feel guilty and kind of hate yourself more.

• Repeat all of the above.

It can be easy to get caught in this loop. One other fun ADHD thing is that every day is a new day, in the sense that you’re often starting over… you’re not picking up where you left off. A blessing and a curse, to say the least.

So, how did I break free? It’s a process. I’m in the middle of a process.

I haven’t really talked with others about this, it may have helped, I’m not sure.

I’m in an accountability group for Substack and it has helped a ton. There are minimal goals to set each week and even if I do them at the last minute, it gives me progress. I also get to see others accomplishing things and it inspires me.

The next big thing is spending some time helping others with similar struggles. I find myself posting in ADHD focused sub-Reddits and Facebook groups and as I tell others how to fix this problem, it inspires me to work on myself.

Finally, just getting sick of it. Catching myself in an ‘up’ moment and starting something positive helps build some inertia.

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Where does that leave me now?

Business-wise, I’ve pivoted some to remove the breadth of my work, so I can focus and ‘move the needle’ with what I’m doing.

I’m currently working on several business things:

• Defining a routine that others and myself can use when starting a new thing. A system to help manage the chaos that comes with the potential for overwhelm when starting something new.

• Creating a simple way to understand and tackle what I’m calling “The Dark Triad of ADHD Productivity.” I’ll post about this more in the Channeling Chaos post on Wednesday, but a quick teaser…

  • There is a vicious cycle that happen with ADHD brains. We struggle with Executive Dysfunction, and three of those can build on each other and lock you out of a productive future. Decision-Making & Prioritization leads to Overwhelm > Cognitive Flexibility makes it difficult to shift from one context to the next > Impaired Short Term Memory leads to trouble ‘picking up where you left off’ so you get overwhelmed again.

• Creating a 30-Day Challenge for others to take part in to try and break out of ADHD Paralysis.

I’m also working on cleaning up all of my places where others encounter me so it’s easy to get to the important parts of my business.

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Gratitude and Welcome!

I mentioned above, but I’ve consolidated my Channeling Chaos newsletter into mindfullish. There is now a new section you can browse to that has all of my posts from Channeling Chaos visible. I’ve also added numerous journaling prompts to its own section as well. Finally, I’ve folded in the subscriptions, so there are people here who are new to the mindfullish posts.

Welcome new subscribers! I hope this first post for you isn’t overwhelming, and you opt to stick around or invite your friends. (c;

I’m thankful for my cohort friends who have inspired me in the past month, including:

• Soulfueled Entrepreneur
  - Kat

• Lipari Living Newsletter
  - Maria

• Now What? with JR
  - Janet

• Write on Track
  - Noor

• EC's Return on Burn
  - Emily

These 5 ladies show up every week, turn out thought-provoking newsletters that exemplify “doing good” with intention and a desire to help others. It’s hard to stay in a funk after reading their updates.

I’m also thankful to everyone that has joined (maybe against your will? I’m sorry?) or stuck around while I’m figuring my shit out.

Thank you! See you on Wednesday, or over in the notes and chat if you feel notey or chatty.