Why Forcing "Neurodivergent" People To Act "Normal" Is The Real Problem

The Case For Abandoning ADHD Labels And Embracing Your True Neurotype

15 years ago, I got an official diagnosis for my ADHD.

At the time, I was mostly only interested for the ‘performance enhancing drugs’ thinking they’d solve my all my problems.

(They did NOT solve all my problems, they created new ones… but that’s another story.)

It’s funny to consider how little we seemed to know about so many of that label at the time. We seemed to know, but it was still a clinical thing with very little ‘lived experience’ to help people actually understand it.

I don’t think anyone was saying “neurodivergent” or “neurotypical” and they were definitely not saying “neurospicy.” I also feel like Autism and ADHD were just two different diagnoses

Fast-forward ten years and it all started to come together.

Now, 15 years into it, I’m struggling with the labels again, but in a different direction.

What’s a neurotype anyway?

Clinically, a “neurotype” is the acronym we all use: ASD and ADHD being the two I connect with, and can knowledgeably discuss and advise about. It includes a laundry list of other things as well, but I’ll stick to these 2 right now.

Another way to think of a neurotype is “the way we think, perceive, learn and communicate.”

Some extra words to better understand:

Neurodivergent - Someone whose brain function is divergent from what is ‘typical.’

Neurotypical - Someone whose brain function is typical.

Neurodiverse/Neurodiversity - The collection of every neurotype, including ‘neurotypical.’

Those are the broad labels that often get used when we’re trying to pigeonhole a concept or behavior to a single neurotype.

If you’re seeing what I’m seeing, you’ll notice that the only thing that makes someone who is ‘neurodivergent’ disabled is the fact that they “aren’t like everybody else.”

In fact, the diagnosis for the different neurotypes is an evaluation of how well you’re able to do ‘typical’ things without struggling.

Here’s the problem… just because I don’t think the same way as you, it doesn’t mean you’re “good” and I’m “bad.”

The entire system that defines & assigns neurotypes is created by, researched by and administered by ‘neurotypicals’ using their version of normal to say you’re not.

This feels wrong.

ADHD isn’t a superpower… at least not for everyone, or not for every situation.

If you’re trying to exist inside the ‘neurotypical’ framework of social norms, societal expectations or workplace guidelines, but you’re divergent, you may see ADHD as the exact opposite.

So that’s the problem… the labels.

The labels are the problem, but so is the expectation that we should be making the “neurodivergents” behave like “neurotypicals.”

The problem is that we’re trying to make every peg shape fit into a round hole.

Are you following me?

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Let’s take back the neurotypes

I’m one guy. I’m not writing the rulebooks for society. So I recognize that we won’t be changing these labels any time soon, but… some of us have already started to do it, in our own way.

Fifteen years ago, you couldn’t be ADHD and Autistic, it was an either/or situation.

Seven-ish years ago, it was realized that they could co-exist.

These days, in the past few years, folks have either become officially or unofficially diagnosed with both Autism and ADHD, and taken the label AuDHD.

I’ve only got the official ADHD diagnosis, but I can tell you definitively, I don’t fit the definition of a “pure ADHD neurotype.”

I also don’t fit the pure Autism neurotype.

I’m a bit of both, and a bit of neither. I’ve got different struggles.

Here’s the thing though… I’ve got a close friend who has neither label, he struggles with many of the things I do, but the closest neurotype he relates to is “Cyclothymia” (I literally have to look up the spelling every time I write it.)

So, here’s my suggestion, here’s the hill I’m trying to stand on…

The neurotypes being assigned to people because they don’t fit into the ‘typical’ mold is ready to die, or to at least be placed in text books and the DSM. Instead, we start defining these neurotypes in a more understandable manner.

Maybe it looks like a Myers-Briggs assessment.

Perhaps its a boring “ENTP” looking neurotype… but that is basically ADHD again. (BTW, ADHD is a shit label… there isn’t an attention deficit, more than half of the people with ADHD are NOT hyper-active and… it is NOT a disorder. I mean, maybe technically… based on what it takes to get in the DSM, but its not.)

I think it’s time we start to create labels that are empowering for the people that are burdened with an anti-social ‘disorder’ as modern psychiatry has deemed it.

While there are those ASD brains who are struggling to communicate, they still deserve to be recognized as having value beyond the things they struggle with.

So… now I want to get playful…

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What’s YOUR neurotype?

I mentioned in the definition up above, that a neurotype is defined by a handful of definitive factors, how we: Perceive, Think, Learn and Communicate.

Perception - This dramatically affects people with things like dyslexia, dysgraphia, dyspraxia and dyscalculia. (Currently color blindness is not considered neurodivergent, probably because it’s so ‘typical’ in the population.)

Think - We all have different modalities for how we think, spatially? visually? But also if we’re divergent thinkers, or convergent. We arrive at answers in different ways.

Learn - This overlaps with how we think and perceive. “Auditory Processing Disorder" is common in the neurodivergent (ND) types, and that results in struggles for some people to follow directions if its all just spoken.

Communicate - Some of us are more comfortably with written word, or better with spoken. Some are artists who prefer to communicate through imagery or music.

I spell this out, because I think these are the criteria that matter more when it comes to interacting with the world.

If I knew I was better at ‘spatial reasoning’ when I was in high school, I may have pursued a path that favored that thinking trait. If you recognized that your dyscalculia is why you did poorly at math, you might not think you were ‘dumb.’

In the spirit of playing with these… I’ve got a handful of labels that feel much more valuable to how we might address the world.

Momentum Seeker

Driven by urgency, thrives in high-stakes sprints, activates when the finish line is visible.
Not lazy or disorganized — just allergic to low-stakes inertia.

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Context Weaver

Thinks in themes, not timelines. Sees patterns between disconnected dots. Needs meaning to stay engaged.
Not flaky or unfocused — just allergic to meaningless minutiae.

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Deep Diver

Hyperfocuses by default, immerses fully, needs uninterrupted flow.
Not obsessive or rigid — just incompatible with forced multitasking.

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Pattern Mapper

Systems-oriented, future-aware, sees structure in the chaos.
Not controlling or overcomplicating — just intolerant of inefficiency-by-default.

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Sensory Symphonist

Feels everything. Processes through aesthetics, emotion, and sensation.
Not dramatic or oversensitive — just finely tuned to the world’s volume.

Obviously this is the tip of the iceberg, but I feel much more comfortable describing myself as a Context Weaver than just saying “I’ve got ADHD.”

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It takes a village…

This is my rallying cry for the ‘neurodivergent’ to move from the negativity associated with a label, and into an empowering label that conveys their different brain functions more clearly.

How would you re-frame your brain function so that you don’t have to explain “but I’m not the hyperactive version” when trying to convey that you think differently?

Are you a Pattern Mapper?

Do you have suggestions for other criteria I might have missed?

What other brain behaviors do you feel need to be considered when defining a neurotype?