The Best Way to Learn...
Spoiler: It isn't from an expert.
I got laid off about 15 months ago from a job I held for just less than 20 years…
… you learn a lot in 20 years, and you forget a lot as well.
I can remember some of the early days experiences at that company if I focus on it, but I can’t quite put myself in those beginners shoes.
At the start of a new job, or a new hobby, so much of the learning is in the unknown.
My daughter wants to get her license in the next 2 months, so we went parking lot driving yesterday afternoon.
There were little things she didn’t really get yet, even though we’ve had driving sessions in the past. And I realized one of the worst things we do when teaching - suggesting to them that there’s a gut feeling somewhere in the learning process.
Yes, we all eventually just intuit how to accelerate effectively, or brake, but that’s shit advice for someone at the start.
She didn’t know to plant her heel and pivot from brake to gas, and back.
As I said, “you need to start braking faster than that”, she says, “I can’t move my foot fast enough.”
Dude. Bruh. She had no reason to know about the heel pivot, I had no reason to remember ever not knowing it.
Mastery & Expertise are blinders for teaching
I have so many hours of driving experience, so many miles behind the wheel. I have learned, forgotten and re-learned things from my past job so many times.
“Shoshin” is a Japanese concept of the Beginner’s Mind. Stated eloquently like this:
In the beginner's mind, there are many possibilities; in the expert's mind, few.
I love to disparage the works of “Gurus”, frustrated with the absolutism that typically comes with their advice, which is typically one size fits all. A guru has to sell their expertise to sell their books and courses.
Mastery and expertise exist because of marketing, and ego.
I can teach my daughter to drive, but it’s not with vague ‘Yoda-like’ advice suggesting she should just “Use the Force.”
Some people might have an intuitive sense at the start of a thing, but not everyone.
I have many things that came naturally throughout my life, or it seems that way in hindsight. But I have even more things where I need LITERAL EXAMPLES to even start.
In my job of 20 years, I would be told to write about a new feature of our software and while I could easily spit out the right tone, or describe the functionality… I would end up stumped with a “why” for the feature.
(I was 3D modeling software largely used by architects. I’m not a trained architect. I can’t tell you how many times I re-learned what a soffit or mullion was.)
There is context in learning. There are variables that you learn, internalize, and forget.
An expert will reach a point where something is that way because that’s the way it is… and that type of teaching is basically “because I said so” mentality.
No, experts are great for doing a thing, they’re not great for a beginner.
There’s a method to the madness of progression
I think a good way to consider experts is, they’re a couple of stages of learning ahead of you. They’ve progressed through the ‘learning loop’ multiple times, and through several variations.
As we try to get better, we go through the ‘learning loop’ and it looks something like this:
Confusion - You don’t know what you don’t know, so the best you get is what you’re told.
Rules Mastery - You’re given a set of responsibilities, or “the basics” for how to do the thing.
Familiarity - As you go from knowing exactly how to do things, you reach a point where you’re “bored.”
Experimentation - This is the cusp of a tier of mastery. Once you know the rules clearly, and once you’re bored, your curiosity rises, and you try to improve on what you’ve learned.
Internalization - Each time you experiment, it’s a tiny learning loop of improvement. Each new way of doing a thing, and the more you do a thing, it starts to be automatic.
Depending on how much you want to know, this can be an iterative process where you explore other facets of what you’re learning, or you can hang out and become an expert in the space.
Learning isn’t about books, it isn’t about rules, it isn’t about recipes.
More specifically, books, rules, recipes are all attempts to formalize something an expert went through.
The learning loop can help everyone learn, but there’s a limit, and a danger to this singular method.
It takes a village
Returning to that job I had for 20 years… I started out doing technical support, but it quickly included helping out in the community forums. Then it became facilitating those forums for our experts, who were ever present.
When I started being part of that community, I spent some time learning from others, I spent some time creating resources to train or educate others, and I spent time around others who knew more than me.
It wasn’t ever formally stated, and I didn’t really think about it until much later, when my kids were school aged.
It was much like a Montessori style school, or even like a kindergarten.
While it wasn’t a community of people with ADHD, it was the perfect place for that interest based learning system to thrive.
Being part of a community that was part educational, part training, part support and part camaraderie proved be far greater than the sum of it’s parts.
A community where I could teach, be corrected, correct others, learn and generally feel accepted in spite of my shortcomings was perfect for growth.
There might have been experts in the mix, but nobody was presenting as an expert. The intent was to co-think or to explore ideas, everyone standing on the shoulders of those around them.
The best way to learn is to recognize the learning loop, be able to see your position in it, and then to share that loop with others.
Don’t look for an expert to teach you from the top down. Look for an adjacent learner, then allow yourself to both have a beginner’s mindset, while also having a leader’s outlook.
Use a network of peers to help you ALL improve together.
There’s still a problem
Driving is a solitary experience.
My daughter still has to learn the heel pivot. She still has to experience the anxiety of driving down a narrow road with another car driving towards her. There will still be that ‘first time on the highway’ moment.
Some part of learning will always be alone, or unique to the learner.
You can only read for so long. You can only theorize about so much.
The community will be great to help build up your confidence, or to share their experience for those first moments. But eventually you have to “Just do it” and build the muscle memory that allows you to later try to teach someone (poorly) by saying “you just get a feeling for it.”
“mindfullish” is me figuring out what the heck I’m writing about. It’s lesson’s i’m learning, that I’m sharing. This is a place where I can explore ideas, or encourage others. It’s where I talk about the things I’m building, which right now include:
A community for people with ADHD professionals to learn, to build each other up, to find co-thinkers or co-workers for ideas. (https://chaoscooperative.com)
A coach consulting business as an ‘Executive Strategist’ who help folks with Executive Dysfunction (typically ADHD havers) craft solutions to help them Start, Maintain, or Finish the things they want to accomplish. (https://jodygates.com)
An experimentation platform of using AI to help manage or improve life with ADHD. (https://adhdsuccesswithai.com)
I invite you to subscribe, heck, I even invite you to pay… right now that payment gets you some peace of mind that you’re helping me pretend to be employed. I’m working on a book about managing executive function with ADHD, so that’ll be here as chapters while I work on it, that’ll be on the inside of payment.
Or you can just read, like you just did, with no expectations or pressure. If that’s the case then a heart, or a re-stack, or a share with someone that would learn from it… those would all be great.