The 4 Types of ADHD Overwhelm (And How to Build Your Own Framework)
Too many tabs is a symptom, and cause of overwhelm
I opened my laptop this morning, intent to start working on some writing while I was in ‘peak creative brain’ that comes with the start of day.
I tend to say this ‘most productive in the morning’ reality to having ideas being crammed into the folds of my brain the longer I’m awake, so by midday I’m tired, midafternoon I’m foggy, and early evening I’m exhausted.
That isn’t completely wrong, scientists have confirmed that sleeping is when the Glymphatic System flushes metabolic waste buildup from your brain… so we’ll just refer to the distracting thoughts in my brain as ‘metabolic waste buildup’ and take the W.
So, when I opened my computer, and it flashed into light… I got to see what it looked like when I turned it off yesterday.
I’ve spoken often, and loudly, about the need for some automation in managing open tabs, but also about the buildup of too many things in our environment.
Decluttering has helped me in the past. Removing the non-essential helps me focus on the essential. It’s why I often…
Listen to non-speaking, or foreign language music when on a walk or workout.
Declare bankruptcy and hold down the ‘Close Tab’ key to just accept that I don’t need those tabs.
Put on noise canceling headphones while working.
Avoid podcasts or books about something I’m currently researching
Fresh words spark new ideas - spark buildup of ‘metabolic waste’ - create overwhelm.
I’ll try to go into the different types of overwhelm, but in this case, I’m talking about the overwhelm where there’s too much going on and I don’t know which thing to think about.
So… that mess of a screenshot… it’s fun to look at and try to find easter eggs of where my brain was at when I put the computer to bed. Now imagine that it’s interactive…
Here’s another version of the desktop, using the expand mode:
Imagine that you’ve got all of that in your face when you try to “Start Working.”
For my ADHD brain, it’s a world of Hemingway Bridges, a collection of “where shall I start” questions. It’s a world of possibility.
It’s also a world of guilt, looking at everything I started but didn’t finish. A snapshot of my inability to complete a simple task.
All the clutter in my digital workspace exists as a symptom of an inability to prioritize, and a default mode to start more before closing the loop on the previous thing.
This isn’t an indictment of being ADHD. I accept (and LOVE) that every thought coming in creates 3 going out. I love that my brain defaults to a world of curious possibility. But I hate that I can’t always turn it off (or on) when I feel like it.
I’ve gotten really good at being able to always default back to the core beneath the overwhelms, so often forget that it looks different at different times. But lets look at them now.
Overwhelm #1 - Too Much Information
This overwhelm is a knee-jerk reaction, it’s being overstimulated… where the stimulation is information, not senses.
The too much information is what happens when the info-dump happens involuntarily. It can be words, but it can be images, or sounds.
There are several things in play with this most basic version:
Curiosity - Wanting to chase everything.
Confusion - Not knowing where to start.
Emotional Dysregulation - Frustration at not knowing where to start.
Overwhelm.
This type of overwhelm will typically lead to me opening a fresh tab, or a device, and picking a dopamine generating distraction… as I start to feel bad about the thing in front of me, my default mode will be to find something to make me feel good.
Overwhelm #2 - Too Many Choices
While this is similar to step two from above, the this one can sometimes be called “Too Much ‘Not Enough Information’.”
This type of overwhelm is when you’ve picked the thing you want to, or need to work on, and then struggle with the first step.
My ADHD brain has some time management issues, where I will think of 5 things that should all happen at the start, and then 3 things that result from starting actions. I build the mental model of the cart, and fail to leave a way to connect the horse.
This one looks like:
Intent - Decide on a thing to work on.
Overplan - Consider all the options that might be worth starting.
Over-research - Look for why you might need to do any one of the things.
Emotional Dysregulation - Frustration at all the options with no clear understanding which order is “best.”
Overwhelm.
This one happens more for me when I’m working on something for another person, so then I get frustrated that the person in question didn’t give me more information, or isn’t available for questions.
While the first overwhelm comes with entering a situation with too much information, this one is about starting a process that I can’t “visualize” from start to finish, or I can’t conceptualize the process.
I often refer to this type of overwhelm as a “Need to know ‘Why’ before I can engage.”
Overwhelm #3 - Not Immediately Easy Enough
While this looks like #2, it’s slightly different in that often something is fun to do while it’s easy, and you can intuit the steps to take to make progress, until one thing requires a little more mental lift to continue.
I started learning guitar, and it was clear how to finger a note or a chord, and I got to the point that I could play them, and then “strumming” entered the picture.
I started designing an application, got through the design document, created an information architecture, maybe even created a prototype or mock of what it’ll look like, and then writing code became necessary.
This overwhelm is what happens when you try to do it all yourself, or when you expect everything to always be easy. This is a place where “Grit” is the answer to the neurotypical… for an ADHD brain, it’s SO easy to find a different, easier thing to start.
The overwhelm loop gets longer here, and more frustrating.
Flow - It’s interesting, I dive in.
Progress - I can see results, it feels like something is moving, that I’m accomplishing something.
Frustration - Something I’m doing feels confusing or hard, so I pivot within the project.
Flow - I can do this next thing, I’m great!
Frustration - I’ve done all the things I can think of, easily, the next part is hard enough to break flow.
Overwhelm. - But this one is often a non-volatile version, its a “quiet quit” type.
I feel like burnout is a real danger with this type. You feel like you’re doing all the work you’re supposed to, but that you’re never making progress.
You’re doing the right things, but ‘nothing is happening.’
Overwhelm #4 - Too Many Things to Do
I figured out the thing, I started it, it got less 'easy’ so I started another thing… and that cycle repeats.
This is the one where I start different projects because I need to have multiple sources of stimulation. It looks like I’m a great multitasker, or it displays the excess of great ideas… it’s “Peak ADHD Behavior.”
While I can get overwhelmed at having too much all at once, or from having so much to do with no clear starting point, those have easier solutions.
With “Too Many Things”, I’ll have started multiple different big ideas over time, and fleshed them out to the point that they’re all somewhat concrete.
In truth, this overwhelm is the result of hitting the previous overwhelm quietly and moving on.
Empowerment - Feel like I’m getting stuff done, then the ‘hard’ wall hits.
Curiosity - Start another project.
Empowerment - … til ‘hard’ wall
Curiosity - … you see where this is going.
Frustration - I’ve got “too much to do” where there are too many projects, all with too many steps.
Overwhelm. - Burnout.
The damage from this one is that you feel like you can’t ever finish anything, that you’re too distracted. This overwhelm is when you lean into all of the negative ADHD traits as a reason to hate yourself.
It’s hard to get past this big overwhelm. But they’re all tied to the same core problem.
The “Cure” is Prioritization
Much like ‘try harder’ and ‘grit’, this word is used enough to feel weaponized.
“You just need to prioritize.”
Nobody hates to hear those words from another person more than me. (Though I’m happy to only hate it as much as you, I’m not special.)
Prioritization feels like too easy of an answer to address my huge problems, and it is… when you’re well into a life that’s filled with Overwhelm type #4. When you’re in burnout mode, the ONLY prioritization left is self regulation. Once your system is fried, you’ve got to power down, let it cool off… maybe you need to reinstall the OS.
This cure will look different for different people, for different situations, and for the different types of overwhelm.
Much like ‘try harder’, the solution of prioritization isn’t a simple decision you make.
Just like ‘grit’, the devil is in the details, it’s a system that works for you, at that time, with your unique needs.
The power of prioritization comes with a system, a set of rules, a rubric to test your ‘next steps’ against or just a shift in understanding what is enough.
In software, the phrase is “Minimum Viable Product” … ironically known as MVP. And in some ways, it can also mean “Most Valuable Player” if you recognize that in a world of getting things done… the value comes in being able to whittle things away for absolute clarity.
The ability to prioritize means the ability to say ‘no.’
The system that lets you do the most important thing first, recognizes 2 things:
“Most Important” is relative
“Most Important” is malleable
Contrary to advice given by Guru’s and Thought Leaders, their path isn’t the only path.
“There’s more than one way to skin a cat” was most definitely a phrase created by a person with ADHD.
There are a handful of parts to creating your own prioritization framework, and lets be clear… it has to be YOU creating it, if you want it to work.
Establishing Your Priorities
I’ve lived the experience that hates all of the productivity phrases. I recognize that I don’t want to eke out peak performance from everything I do. I have zero interest in being a cog in the system… so bear with me as I start using Productivity words.
I’ll go slow, I’ll keep it simple… it’s what I need, and what we all need.
Prioritization is one of the most fundamental of ADHD executive dysfunctions. It’s such a strong dysfunction that it being able to make it function can have a dramatic effect in being overwhelmed, pursuing distractions, and managing time blindness.
I’ll go out on a limb and say, the ‘cure’ to ADHD lies in the ability to prioritize. Well, more accurately, it’s how you can manage your ADHD when done right.
Being able to prioritize means being able to “pick the next thing that matters.”
But prioritization isn’t about productivity, it’s what defines your mindset, your attitude, your default response. It’s how you pick what you’ll learn, how you’ll spend your time, who you’ll stay in touch with and how you’ll engage with the world.
It’s both “simple” and “impossible” to learn… at the same time.
I won’t pretend you’ll have it figured out with a framework… but being able to create one might be what lets you connect it to the different aspects of your life.
So lets dive in, to properly prioritize means you’re able to…
Understand what matters - Having a context ‘why’ is what will keep you coming back. It’s what allows you to seek he next step, and the next.
Understand the ‘end state’ - If you can recognize the ‘why’ of the entire endeavor, you can build the mental model in your mind of how to get there.
Understand where you’re at - Do you need skills, information, time, people, energy?
Accept Uncertainty - There will be hurdles, there will be unknowns, there will be easy and hard parts.
Relinquish Control - “Shit happens” means that you won’t be the one in charge at every step, either in yourself, or in the thing you’re working on.
Press ‘Publish’ at 80% - Perfection is a pursuit, not a result. Embrace your ability to pivot, to see connections and to chase the unknown, its in your wiring.
These rules apply at EVERY layer of prioritization.
With these 6 rules, you can change your mindset, lead a project, contribute to a project, manage relationships, learn something, teach someone, share or present something or build something larger than yourself.
These rules apply to people that have ADHD, and people that don’t. These are the principles of life… and likely something I’ll obsess over for weeks now that I’ve written them out.
But, I feel like I didn’t actually tell you HOW to build prioritization framework… so I’ll type a little bit more.
To be clear, this still needs you to have the privilege of time, tools and some autonomy, and might take some extra work of those aren’t available.
Building a Prioritization Framework
In life, EVERYTHING that happens is a by-product of your priorities. Sometimes we don’t want to admit it, because it hurts to admit, but it’s a fundamental truth.
With ADHD, one of our cognitive struggles is memory, another is time blindness. These can be useful when you’re trying to get things done, but they can completely hamstring your ability to stick to the priority.
A personal bit of self loathing in me is my inability to consistently reach out to my 84 year old mother, living alone, 1000 miles away from me. I WANT to check in on her, but I forget. I defer til when I presume she’s less busy, or when I’m able to commit time to chat, or when I have something important to say.
But the truth that I hate to admit is, I haven’t found a way to hard code that priority into my brain, or my life, so it must not be a real priority. (Which isn’t true.)
Check In on Mom - The Framework
Quick rubric check of the 6 rules above:
Why This Matters - Mom is old, lonely, I want her to be happy.
Desired Result - I contact her once a week, or as conversations dictate.
Struggle - I forget. I’m allergic to calendars. (Get distracted, Lose track of time)
Wild Cards - Schedules shift, technology intrudes, things come up.
Outsource Option - If I forget, but also struggle to keep a schedule. Have a reminder that’s a checkbox that stays persistent until checked. Must be visible. (I HATE red notification dots.)
80% Effort - She gets a default “Hey Mom, hope all is well, nothing exciting to report but wanted to check in.”
This a simple thing, and doesn’t need need some huge plan, so I have to pick some rules that are easy and that I’ll commit to them.
I’ll always respond within an hour if she messages me (and I’m able.)
I’ll always have the short check-in queued up in chat, all I’ve gotta do is hit send.
I’ll set a “To Do” in Google Calendar that’s a recurring event every Sunday. I’ll put a reminder on my calendar with EVERY notification enabled on Wednesday.
I’ll commit to the Wednesday day thing as the MVP, if the To Do that started on Sunday isn’t being executed.
This is a simple thing I fail to do, but that actually matters, so I set up the priority. After it’s become entrenched, it starts to be automatic without the notifications.
The framework is really just going through the 6 questions, building a plan from them, and then committing to the plan.
To be certain, it can be simple or complex, it can be used for:
A task (call mom)
A project
A goal
A mindset
If you can define the priority and you can get through the 6 questions, you can make it part of your life.
As the opening screenshot illustrates, I don’t have it all figured out… or maybe more specifically, just because I get it working right now doesn’t mean I don’t slip and slide.
The ability to be malleable, to recognize that there isn’t a silver bullet, is a part of having grace with your ADHD, or your life. It’s why guru advice is so hard to stick to. It’s why knowing how to build the system is more important than to have a system.
So, be patient, only focus on one priority at a time, and allow yourself to shift as things become more clear.
One Last Thing: ADHD brains aren’t machines. We can’t turn emotions off and on, we can’t just choose to not get overwhelmed, or overstimulated. We can’t make ourselves have more energy and we can’t do everything just because of a system or framework.
Please don’t think that this will fix all your problems, get help when you need it, walk away when you need it, take a nap when you need it. Respect your needs.
Prioritize your needs over productivity, or having the answers.
Have grace, allow time, allow iteration, and keep coming back.
I don’t write weekly. I don’t charge for what I write about. I’m not always focused on neurodivergence, or politics, or economics, or pets, or hobbies, or lifehacks, or technology, or AI. Any of those will come up, but always as they connect to humans and trying to be a good one.
‘mindfullish’ is my recognition that I think about a lot of things, but sometimes forget to think about right now. That my interests can vary widely, but always have a human connection. I think humans matter than institutions, more than profits and more than ideologies, so I’ll always be targeting the human part first.
My name is Jody, ou can subscribe to ‘mindfullish’ via the link, or find me on LinkedIn or join my community (Chaos Cooperative) or reach out to me for “Neurodivergent Chats” … the links are all over the place.