Step One: Recognize and Own Your Limitations
Step One: Recognize and Own Your Limitations
Transformation is about more than change, it's also about awareness and acceptance.
Years ago I was a huge Richard Bach fan, a quote from one of his books stuck with me for almost 30 years now.
Argue for your limitations and, sure enough, they're yours.”―Richard Bach, Illusions
I don’t always remember it at the right time, though.
I was watching Dr. Russell Barkley’s YouTube channel over the weekend, he had a recent video about Owning Your ADHD. When I started the video, I remembered that ‘young’ Dr. Barkley had always trended towards abrasive. He embodied the academic psychiatrist more than the caregiver. It was kind of rough to listen to.
The topic of “owning” yourself is not unique to ADHD, everyone needs to learn to recognize that they’re not perfect, that they have something they struggle with.
ADHD Brains are Wired Different
The problem with having different ‘wiring’ is that it’s easy to use it as an excuse for bad behavior or shortcomings.
If you have short term memory issues, you form the habit of making lists. It becomes normal for you to be carrying around some means of recording a list and regularly check it. (Does Santa Claus have ADHD? Maybe.)
The tendency to procrastinate or struggle when starting a task is not an excuse to do nothing, you have to habituate routines that get you moving or define tasks in a manner that they’re compelling to do.
For a person with ADHD, just about everything is a solvable problem.
Everyone has Differences
This isn’t unique to ADHD people, or even exclusive to those categorized as “neurodivergent.”
You have to learn to work with your gifts and limitations if you deal with:
depression or anxiety
A physical or mental handicap
not having a driver’s license
being colorblind, or dyslexic
We can build a list as long as there are people to illustrate that different conditions require adaptation. The good news? The greatest human asset is the ability to adapt.
Tough Love Sucks
I’m not writing to tell you to stop complaining, I’m trying to illustrate that something that sucks today or that sucks for one person has already been solved for another.
It was interesting to hear Dr. Barkley get ‘riled up’ as he would speak of his brother, who would never take responsibility for conditions in his life. His impassioned speech was a perfect illustration of how frustrating it can be to watch someone we love be unwilling to acknowledge their struggles or to actively try to grow past them.
You, regardless of your limiting condition, have the power to overcome the limiting belief that came with the condition.
Where To Go From Here?
I don’t tend to dig into journaling prompts until Friday, but there are some things you can consider right now. Maybe it’s priming for journaling this weekend, or maybe it’s just a chance to explore now. Take a moment now, before you click Share or Subscribe, and answer the following:
What is something you wish you could or would do, but feel that you can’t because of ____?
Why does your limiting condition prevent you from doing it?
Who is somebody doing this thing you wish you could do? Bonus points if you can identify someone that has your same limiting condition.
If you went with bonus points, why can they do this thing that you can’t do?
Is there a technology (medication, device, whatever) that would allow you to do that thing?
I’m sorry to say that 4 questions won’t fix the problem, but hopefully you can see there is a benefit in exploring either why you think you can’t or why you think others can.
It Gets Better
Very little in life does not improve with time and maybe some applied effort. Your interest in “doing the impossible” is the perfect starting point, it shows your willingness to improve, and that makes you amazing.