From Safe to Satisfied - My Clumsy Journey to Self Employment
How Getting Laid Off Led to Rediscovering My Passion and Purpose
As an adult, my life has always felt safe.
Sure, there were responsibilities and the possibility to get fired, but once you’re entrenched in a position, you stop taking risks.
When you have kids, you stop being daring.
When you get a mortgage, you actively avoid a chance of reduced income.
This wasn’t MY plan, at all.
Boredom Reigned Supreme
My 20s were… Typical
Out of high school and into college, all advice was about the degree to get the well paying job to start a family. It’s the American dream, so its what I pursued.
In my 20s I attended seminars to learn how to make money in real estate, or to start a 1-900 number (hey, it was a thing.) I knew back then that there was something better than the 9-5 grind. I just didn’t know how to find it, there wasn’t an internet rife with opportunity. So, I got a job and I did what you do, prove myself on the job and increase my position.
I made it to a manager position by my late 20s, then pivoted, moved from Oklahoma to Colorado, starting as a Webmaster and Web Designer, it worked for a while until the dot com bubble popped. I tried starting a consulting business after that, but it was all local business and my heart wasn’t in it.
Starting a Family
I was married at this point and owned a home, so bills were piling up.
I got a job doing IT, moved to a role in tech support. I ended up back to the ever present role of doing things via phone, then email, then chat. I was chained to a desk, letting my technical brain earn a living while my creative brain moldered in the shadows.
While I was working a job for someone else we had 2 kids, the responsibilities locked me down to stay on the path. I was bored within a year of that first support role, but then we got acquired… I was working at Google, that was full of excitement and distraction. I worked with smart, motivated and ambitious people! It took me 4 years to get bored in that new world!
Commitments keep you planted
Google changes their mind, a lot.
My team was sold away from Google to a new company, Trimble Navigation. A first for Google, we were special as we departed!
The next decade was much the same, though I learned about anxiety and depression as I continued, trapped in this role that was less exciting by each new day.
I wrote recently about getting laid off, that story is the ending of this section. I kept getting a slight shift in responsibility and I kept trudging along. I was bored, it showed in my work, it showed in my anxiety, it showed in my motivation.
A Kick in the Pants
As I said, I got laid off 6 months ago. I was secretly happy, it was fate pushing me to do something more with my life, but I had a lot of learned helplessness built up and I kept hedging my plans.
I updated my resume at the same time that I was learning Python so I could either find a job like my last or pivot into a programming role. I was also harboring this intent that I would find a way to be self-employed.
It took about 6 weeks of resume time, about 10 weeks of learning Python before I saw it. Something that got me excited!
3 Months after my layoff I realized that I was excited by the idea of having multiple streams of income, I could see the fun in the chaos of juggling several roles, so I kicked off my multi-month plan to grow my own mini empire.
Channeling Chaos - an LLC but also a way of life
We aren’t quite to present, but I have a lot more to say about the past 4 months.
The teaser to that whole thing is, I’ve had some ups and downs and I’m still figuring parts out. I recognize even more today than I did 4 months ago that there is a calmness and a sense of purpose, in the ikigai of figuring new things out.
My purpose, to myself, is to keep finding new things to figure out.
My purpose, to the world, is to find a way to bring this perspective to others with ADHD who might have struggled the same way I have.
Thanks for joining me as I bring my perspective on living with ADHD, growing a solo business and learn the pains of figuring out how to do it my way.
Noble cause, for sure. Can't wait to follow along on this journey!