Always Return to Center and Refocus on the Plan
Always Return to Center and Refocus on the Plan
A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.
Sometimes you have to start over. At least you have to return to the start to see where you were headed. This past week was a perfect example of that for me. I screeched into the weekend with some fresh anxiety and depression as a result of a focused week that just didn’t feel right.
Last week I tried this new idea, I would create a theme (Fear of Failure) and return to that topic all week for other content. It seemed like a great idea at the time, it even felt pretty at the start of the week, but I started to realize a few things about me, my writing and “what the heck I was doing” as the week progressed.
Unexpected Second Theme - “Too Much”
My ADHD will periodically bring a very clear, noticeable feeling of Overwhelm when I’m either taking on too much or if I’m feeling like I’m incapable of handling what’s before me.
It’s possible that this feeling was there, but it presented itself differently this time. I ended my week feeling somewhat hopeless on a larger scale than normal, it wasn’t a ‘brain lock’ it was a sad sense of failure. I felt rudderless and incapable. Maybe the theme of failure was at fault, but I hadn’t really dwelled on that, so probably not.
I Have Too Many Voices
I’ve been trying to learn from others in this journey, either by their example or reading their advice. It’s clear that I’ve put too voices in my head, some more valuable than others.
I didn’t really see that it was happening until I read another new voice who casually shared their disdain for something I hadn’t considered. I was reading a post on Medium by Zulie Rane, “The ‘Broetry’ on LinkedIn Is Making Me Sick.” The post was 2 years old but still very relevant. Her comment made me realize that I had been thinking the same thing. I hate the 1 line bursts of ‘insight’ that are LinkedIn ‘content.’ Sadly, I was feeling like that’s how I have to write to grow that audience.
This shook me, it allowed me to take stock of what was before me. In the past 2 months I have subscribed to 26! Newsletters… I’m in shock after counting that. 26 newsletters across 4-ish broad topics including: writing, entrepreneurship, marketing and self-improvement. It’s a lot of unique individuals who are both trying to teach something to me but also to sell me something. It’s a lot of voices arguing for my time.
Some of these voices create ‘broetry’, some of them are just loudly stating the obvious and some are loudly stating bullshit but passing it off as insight.
Step 1 - Cull the Herd
Who do I get rid of? Where should I ‘follow’ them? Who is valuable?
I’m Getting Too Wrapped Up In ‘Right Now’
I’ve also been doing a major “no no” which is to watch my metrics every day. I haven’t even been doing this for 2 months yet so there are no ‘big numbers’ to follow.
I have around 50 blog posts written and 6 newsletters, so there aren’t ‘trends’ to track.
I have fewer than 1000 followers and less than 50 subscribers across my platforms, so no people to poll.
I am minnow swimming in the ocean. Right now there is nothing to notice about me and nothing to track.
The problem is that I am looking at these numbers and trying to “condense fact from the vapor of nuance” and letting it play with my emotions.
I’ve created a plan for the next 12 months and the fact that I collected any money last month is completely unexpected. The amount this month is also “ahead of schedule.” Rather than looking at numbers, my time should be spent “executing on the plan.”
Step 2 - Prioritize My Effort to Accomplish the First Objective
Do I write less, but more strategically? Do I focus on platforms other than writing?
I’m Letting My Goals and Prioritize Shift
I’m trying to do everything everyone is saying via their newsletters, their social media and their books. I’m also trying to earn an income ASAP.
Between those 2 efforts I’m letting environmental conditions push me afield. Somehow I’m no longer focusing on growing an audience or tuning my message. I’m no longer trying to create a community of peers.
Last week I started to see my focus be about earning an income from a single platform. I also started to prioritize other people’s voice and methodology for writing. As mentioned… I was aspiring towards some sort of ‘broetry.” On top of that I posted a story with a very clickbait style headline, which still makes me sick.
Between trying to do MY thing using other people’s roadmap and me trying to make money and grow an audience with their system, I realized that I wasn’t really being authentic… something very important to me.
Step 3 - Look at the original plan and focus on that plan.
Look long term, focus on my plan one step at a time and make sure the steps are in the right order. If necessary, adjust the original plan, but do so deliberately and intentionally.
A Return to Center
As I’ve let all of this ‘gel’ over the weekend, I’ve started to feel more relaxed and focused. Those 3 steps I laid out have yet to be done, but will be this week. I’m also working on my own means of prioritization for what enters my head. There are questions to ask every time I start to save something new and a need to do it at the start. Some questions like:
Who am I listening to? Why?
Who do I resonate with? Why?
Is this new, useful information, or regurgitation?
Does this fit into my long term plan? How? When?
Should I be focusing on this yet? Now? Ever?
It can be exhausting to manage the information I pursue and consume, especially for my always curious ADHD brain. There are so many fascinating voices, lessons, accomplishments. I want to know them all, but I can’t… yet.